Guns for the Lord

January 22nd, 2010

So Michigan-based defense contractor Trijicon has elected to engrave references to Bible verses on over 300,000 combat rifle scopes used by American forces to kill enemy combatants. Are they kidding?

The telescopic sights manufactured by the firm utilize tritium (a radioactive form of hydrogen) to help soldiers aim their weapons in low light situations. Perhaps someone in their misguided marketing department thought it would be really clever to cite various scriptures such as “Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, ‘I am the light of the world; he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.’”

Using the words of Christ, which are meant to inspire humans to strive for a higher purpose on Earth, on a product designed to help kill people. Really?

Cannonball!

September 28th, 2009

cannonball1

No, not the fun kind where you plunge into a swimming pool, raising a huge curtain of icy cold chlorinated water to splash down on your soon-to-be-ex-friends who were toasting nicely on their dry towels.

This is the kind of cannonball that gets launched from a cannon (imagine that). It seems that a Pennsylvania history buff accidentally fired a two-pound iron ball through a neighbor’s wall 400 yards away while he was testing a French and Indian War replica he had built. Friends, that’s the length of four football fields! Apparently the round ricocheted off the cannoneer’s lawn and smashed through the neighbor’s window before landing in a closet. Ooops!

(Fortunately no one was injured…)

Guess No One Noticed Moon Rock had Wood Grain

August 28th, 2009

moon-rocks-photo

Alright students. Let’s kick off the new school year with a spot quiz!  Kids, what grows on the moon? Yes, Tina? Nothing? You’re correct! Nothing grows on the moon. So how come no one at Amsterdam’s national Rijksmuseum noticed until recently that the chunk of “moon rock” it has on display is actually petrified wood with distinct wood grain and everything?

Supposedly brought back to Earth by Apollo 11 astronauts, the object in question was allegedly presented to the Prime Minister of the Netherlands at the time, Willem Drees in 1969. The museum received the mineralized hunk of prehistoric tree upon Mr. Drees’ passing in 1988.

Needless to say, the curators at the Rijksmuseum are a bit red-faced at the gaffe. So now the question is, did our State Department pull a fast one when the stone was gifted? Were the astronauts holding back on the real stuff and slipped in a substitute thinking no one would notice? (If so, then it appears that the ruse worked for over 30 years.) Or was the moon at some point capable of sustaining life, hence the discovery of a “moon tree.” And if the moon did support life at one point, what the hell happened?!

And FYI, NASA has a display of simulated moon rocks that you can borrow for use in your classroom.  The Rijksmuseum is probably going to yank their moon page from their website, so here’s a flyer that was snagged from the site…just to prove that the hoax really was on exhibition.

Trusting the Toymaker?

August 28th, 2009

As you may recall, Mattel Toy Company, one of the world’s largest toy makers, has had its hands full in recent years what with the pesky problem of using paint chocked full of lead on more than 2 million toys manufactured overseas. (And lead, as we all know, makes paint shiny and all pretty. It can also cause irreversible brain damage if ingested by children, who tend to gnaw on just about anything given to them when they’re very young.)

So why is it that the Consumer Product Safety Commission recently granted Mattel special permission to use their own labs for testing instead of submitting their products to independent labs? And that’s not a rhetorical question.

According to Michael Green, executive director of the Center for Environmental Health, it’s ironic that the company that was a principal source of the problem of lead in children’s toys, and who had to pay a $2.3 million fine for violating the lead-paint ban enacted by the feds,  gets to police itself. Could it have anything to do with the $1 million Mattel spent last year on lobbying in the halls of Congress?  Hmmmm?

Preventing Cruelty to Animals Begins at Home

August 27th, 2009
from image64.webshots.com

from image64.webshots.com

In one of those cruel, ironic twists, the CEO of the Richmond, VA chapter of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) accidently killed her own dog in a freak accident.

Seems that the woman’s husband placed their 16-year-old blind and deaf dog Louie in the rear cargo area of her car. Robin Starr then drove the vehicle to her SPCA office where she works, unaware that Louie was riding in the back. When Ms. Starr returned to her car four hours later, she discovered Louie knock, knock, knocking on heaven’s door as the outside temperature had reached 91 degrees, and we all know that the interior temperature of a closed vehicle can soar much higher.

Despite the efforts of two vet clinics, Louie let this world for a better place.

Arrested for Stealing U.S.-Mexico Border!

August 27th, 2009
U.S.-Mexico border...stolen!

U.S.-Mexico border...stolen!

Who would have thought just a year ago that the world economy would get so bad people would steal our border with Mexico to sell for scrap? Okay, it was part of the fence that was stolen. But still, absconding with part of the demarcation between our two great countries and trying to sell it at a junkyard? Are you kidding?

Tijuana Police captured two Mexican Nationals red-handed with eight chunks of the International Border.   Shortly afterward, A third crook was captured nearby with the alleged cutting tool. Mexican authorities, with the the aid of the U.S. Border Patrol, intercepted three more scoundrels in a pickup truck with yet more pieces of the fence.

I bet Canada doesn’t have this problem. (Probably because there’s no fence up in the Great White North.)

Hiding Evidence as a “Clunker”

August 20th, 2009

Here’s one for the books:

A jackass (the two-legged kind) in Phoenix driving his BMW hits and kills a bicyclist shortly after midnight on August 8. Later the same day, this driver has the balls to take his ride to a local car dealership and try and ditch the vehicle under the “Cash for Clunkers” program.

Does this look like a bicyclist to you?

Does this look like a bicyclist to you?

So, not only does he commit a Class 1 felony, he tries to get the rest of us taxpayers to help him buy a new car so that he can evade punishment. Are you kidding?

This clown allegedly told the car salesperson that his trade-in sustained damage after hitting a pig-like mammal called a javelina, a creature common to the Arizona region. Fortunately for Lady Justice, someone tipped off the police and they arrested the bastard. Not only should he be charged with vehicular manslaughter, the authorities should also tack on leaving the scene of an accident (hit-and-run), tampering with evidence, concealing evidence, and attempted fraud.

Sen. Ensign’s Not as Bad as Clinton

August 20th, 2009

33997242-john-ensign

According to Senator John Ensign (R-NV) anyway.

Sure, he copped to cheating on his wife and  shacking up with his former campaign aide, Cynthia Hampton. But at least he’s not a liar like that no-good Bill Clinton. At least John admits that he is seriously lacking in the decent morals department (remind me again why is he a senator).  But Bill Clinton…, he got impeached for lying to the United States about having an affair. (Yeah, impeached but not convicted.)

John, I have to admit, you’re getting good coaching from someone. Deflecting the spotlight from your own sordid life by shining it at someone who’s been a private citizen for over eight years. Even if he did screw around, I’d still trust Bill over you any day.

Man, guys like you get me steamed!

Wonder Where He Kept the Bullets…

August 10th, 2009

Guards at the Harris County Jail in downtown Houston, TX are a bit red-faced after failing to intercept a 9mm pistol smuggled into the facilities last Monday. 500lb. inmate George Vera concealed the hand gun in rolls of body fat, which the deputies apparently failed to examine closely. Gives a whole new meaning to the term “body cavity search.”

Senators or Sexators

August 4th, 2009

Jeez! What is it with our politicians? First it was a senator from Nevada. Then the often AWOL governor of South Carolina. Now it’s a state senator from Tennessee who’s been caught with his pants down.

What the !@#$% is wrong with these guys? Is there something in the air in Washington D.C.? Is the drinking water in the states’ capitals contaminated? What makes these supposedly pillars of their respective communities get so “anxious” that they risk ruining their careers and embarrassing their families and friends?  I just don’t get it.

Note to all politicians: Keep It Zipped!